Castles, Boats, Buses and Golf

Sometimes I have very vivid and strange dreams.  I usually remember them when I wake up, but by the time I try and tell people them only snippets are left.  So I have decided to start writing them down as soon as I wake.  This was last night’s:

I am with the boychild and we are manoeuvering a large upright piece of something like plywood, at least 10ft by 10ft that may or may not be on wheels.  He is at the back and I’m at the front.  We are stopped at a red traffic light.  Opposite us is a road sign pointing up a hill, which says “Castle”.  There are two policemen on the corner who are watching us, so I say loudly “well this will teach us for going the wrong way up a one way street!”.  The light changes to green and the boy and I manoeuvre the thing round the corner to the left and up the hill. 

As we go round the corner I realise it’s a ramp of a multi-storey car park.  We make it to the top of the ramp and then we are faced with a tiny passageway after which there is a railing, big step down and two paths.  The right hand path is all uneven slabs of stone, almost medieval in appearance and looks dangerous as it twists and turns down the hill.  The left hand path is brick and new and runs straight down the hill.  I tell the boychild to wait and I’ll move the thing we’re carrying over the railing and onto the path.  There’s a crowd of people behind us now and as I get myself on to the left hand brick path, they start telling me I’m going the wrong way.  I continue down the brick path, wheeling this large piece of whatever it is to the bottom. 

When I reach the bottom I realise both paths lead to the same place, a small bit of pedestrian road with an entrance on the right hand side which says “Castle Entrance”.  I suddenly realise the boychild is not with me.  I remember that he is wearing navy board shorts and a navy and white check shirt.  I scan the crowd frantically but can’t see him anywhere and start to panic.  I can’t leave my wooden thing anywhere as someone might steal it (seriously, a 10 foot square piece of plywood?  I think I’d spot anyone walking off with it) so start to wheel it back up the brick path asking people if they’ve seen him.

At this point I half wake up, panicking that I’ve lost him.  I try desperately to get back to sleep so I can get back into the dream to find him.  Two seconds later he wanders into the bedroom and climbs in bed with me, moulding himself against me so we’re spooning, and I relax and go back to sleep.

I’m on a boat and my parents are there.  It’s stormy and dark, and there are crates and dogs (?) floating in the water.  Dad is trying to help rescue them and Mum and I are trying to explain to him that the other boat helping us has no lights and won’t be able to find its way back to the harbour, so eventually he agrees and we dispatch the world’s smallest boat back to land and head back in the enormous yacht we appear to be in.

I’m on a small bus with my dad.  It’s during the day.  He’s explaining that there was a freak tornado which caused the accident in the sea.   We go past a football ground right next to the road we’re on.  There is a grandstand which is a white art deco style building on two sides of the pitch and the ground is completely open to the road on the other two sides.  I notice a big sign by the side that says “IN”.  The bus goes round a corner and the sea is the other side of the football pitch, with a promenade.  Dad gets off the bus telling me he is going to miss his golf game. 

I realise after he has got off the bus that I meant to get off with him.  I press the “STOP” button and wait for the bus to get to the next stop, but the driver tells me it’s a mile away so he’ll let me off anyway and pulls over.  I cross the road and see my dad playing pitch and putt.  I go over to him joking that I thought he meant a real golf game and he says “this IS real golf!”.  I look around and there seem to be hundreds of people all trying to play, and realise that the green grass is actually knitted and woven, and there are holes every couple of feet that people are trying to putt into.

Very, very odd.  And absolutely nothing in that dream that I can explain.  Nothing!

Chorizo & Bean Chilli

I made this dish this evening and it was so delicious I knew I had to share it!  A very simple and quick meal to make, you could serve it with rice, or just have it on it’s own, or do what I did and serve it with tortilla wraps, some salad and some soured cream!

Ingredients

1 tin tomatoes
1 tin chickpeas
1 tin cannellini or butter beans (whichever you prefer)
1 tin kidney beans
150g chorizo chopped into half moons
1 red or green chilli
1 tsp dried mixed herbs
100mls water
seasoning to taste

Directions

Put the tomatoes, chilli and herbs into a saucepan with the three tins of beans and water and bring to the boil.

Add the chopped chorizo and simmer for about 20 minutes until the sauce has thickened and reduced.

Check seasoning and serve.

And that really is it!  If you serve it with lots of salad and bits and pieces and wraps then it comfortably serves 6 and is 7 Weight Watchers ProPoints per serving.  If you were having it on its own, then think it would probably serve 4 so obviously the PP would be higher.

Enjoy!

Click the logo to download this recipe as a PDF.

Quick Update

It’s been a weird old week, mainly because I had two days off work in the middle of the week which is unusual for me – usually I take holiday at the beginning or end of a week but for various reasons that wasn’t possible this time.  It was half term so I took a couple of days to spend with the boy although we didn’t do much.  We’re flat broke this month whilst trying to pay a few things off, but M’s current favourite thing is to spend the whole day in his pyjamas cuddled up and watching films, and as the weather was horrific this is just what we did.  We watched A Dolphin’s Tale and Johnny English Reborn among other things, both of which were very enjoyable.

My diet has just gone to pot for the past few weeks.  Not really sure why, just a lack of willpower I guess.  Luckily I’ve not gained any weight but nor have I lost any.  I’ll be back at my WW meeting this week for definite though.  I’ve been talked into participating in the Great Manchester Run, a 10k run at the end of May, so as I don’t do any running whatsoever, I need to get my arse (and legs) in gear.  I’m actually quite enthusiastic about it – at the moment I think I can do it, but ask me again next week!

Shufflin’

Saw this on mumof4′s blog and then over at Karen’s so thought I’d give it a go.

The idea is that you put your iPod on shuffle and note down the first five songs that it plays.  My big iPod is dead at the moment, so I have done this on my iPhone which is quite handy as it tends to have more recent and less embarrassing stuff on it!

So here we go:

REM – Can’t Get There From Here

Evanescence – Made of Stone

Fyfe Dangerfield – Firebird

Michael Bublé – (Baby) You’ve Got What It Takes

Royksopp – Someone Like Me

Are they what you expected of me?

If you do this, leave me a comment and let me know!

Rubbish Pants

I am full of cold at the moment, which makes me feel a bit sorry for myself.  Wednesday was probably the worst day; that first day of a cold when you feel woolly headed and your head feels too heavy for your neck.  I struggled through work like the brave little soldier I am, but I was caught sighing heavily a couple of times and asked if I was OK.  I managed the whole day, but came straight home, mainlined Night Nurse and went to bed, sleeping right through till the morning.

Thursday I felt a bit better, but by the afternoon my energy was waining, and again I came home, Night Nursed myself up and slept from 6pm till 7am.

Yesterday was a repeat of Thursday except now I had developed a cough.  We had a personal training session at work and I asked to be excused but the trainer came in to the office and cajoled me into doing it, saying she was sure I’d feel better once I started.  I even had a little cry on her shoulder but I did as I was told, it was a tough session but I used a smaller kettlebell than normal and managed the whole hour apart from one set of abdominal exercises which made me cough.  I did feel better for doing it and I have that nice achy feeling today in some of my muscles that you get from working out.  We finished work at 3.30pm as we often do on a Friday and again I came home, went to bed immediately and slept till around 11pm when I was suddenly wide awake as you can see from my Twitter feed!  I dozed off at around 1am and slept till 11am this morning.

Despite all this, I feel like I’m on speed at the moment.  One thing the Community Mental Health Nurse told me to do last week was rate my day out of 10, when 10 would be “normal”.  As in, not down, just a normal day.  The day she came I was about a 6/10.  OK, but not 100%.  By the time she left I was about a 4/10 because I’d found it stressful.  1 or 2 out of 10 would be when I feel the need to self-harm or have a lot of thoughts about death.  This week, despite feeling ill, I’m about a 15 or 16 out of 10.  I feel manic.  I am speaking faster, I want to drive faster, I have a list of things I want to buy despite having no money.  Stupid things that I don’t need – new laptop, new camera lenses, an expensive holiday.  I want to go out running but can’t because I have no energy and it is icy, so I feel angry about it.  I want to purchase expensive running gear.  I feel aggressive.  I know that in a few days this will pass and I’ll be back to about an 8 or 9 out of 10.  I never feel 10/10 in my opinion.  No day ever feels normal.

It is very weird to feel so hyper whilst also feeling so rundown with being full of cold.  Very weird indeed.

MIA

So, you’re probably wondering where I’ve been?  Or not, which is more likely.  Actually I’ve been abso-bloody-lutely nowhere, more’s the pity.  Just plodding along with life and ups and downs and blogger’s block.

I had another mental health assessment, this time with the Community Mental Health team.  Quite traumatic, having to go through the whole process from the beginning again, going through all the weird shit that I do and say and reliving my life from birth so they get an idea of my background.  I had taken the morning off work, but I was exhausted afterwards and my boss let me stay off the whole day so I just slept.  Today I received a letter from the local hospital with an appointment to see the psychiatrist for a “medication review” which is the next step, but they’re definitely hinting at bipolar now.  The lady that came to see me said I clearly do have psychosis, it’s just for the consultant to work out what’s behind it and putting me on the right medication.  The process feels confusing and exhausting but at least it’s going in the right direction.

Work is still amazing.  The difference in the office since Grumpy left is incredible.  The mood is lighter and everything just feels easier.  We have a new person joining us in a few weeks which we’re looking forward to.  We completed our 24 hour spinning challenge which was an exhilarating experience actually; quite a bonding session for the six of us too.  Incredibly hard work, a lot harder than I think any of us, even the hardened spinners among us, thought it would be.  We each did 4½ hours on the spin bike in total, in half an hour slots, which probably sounds relatively easy but if you’ve ever done a spin class you will understand just how painful those bikes can be!  Plus not one of us slept in the whole 24 hours.  We worked out that it equated to around 2000 calories burned each, and around 120 road miles.  Not bad!  And we raised a shedload of cash for a locally based charity and got ourselves into the local paper and mentions on local radio.  Fame at last!

My mum has made an amazing recovery following the fitting of her pacemaker.  She is a different person on the telephone, and I can’t wait to see her although sadly this will probably not be till Easter.  The difference is incredible.  And the good news is after a couple of difficult weeks, my dad and I are OK again as well.  So at the moment, everything is rosy.

Une Jolie Fleur

Une Jolie Fleur by jensupnorth
Une Jolie Fleur, a photo by jensupnorth on Flickr.

My mother-in-law bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers following the 24 hour charity spinning class we did at work so I decided to play around with my DSLR, as it’s been gathering dust of late.  Taken on completely manual settings, including focus, which is not something I do very often.

ISO 100 | 1/60 sec | f10.0 | 55mm